{"id":3742,"date":"2021-11-29T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-29T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/felipemateus.com\/?p=3742"},"modified":"2026-05-14T15:07:04","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T18:07:04","slug":"fuck-all-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/felipemateus.com\/en\/blog\/2021\/11\/fuck-all-this","title":{"rendered":"fuck all this"},"content":{"rendered":"

First fuck it, I don't want to be in this place, I don't want to be that person, I don't want this for myself this isn't me. I'm looking for a way to find what will be able to get me out of this place but I don't think I can bear the wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time passes and passing time I get lost in the dark, there are no fairy tales, there are no happy endings if there are any endings. Soon with each passing day more questions arise and darkness embraces me like a friend who was once light a certainty of a young man I once was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time passes and more time is wasted trying to find my peace Fuck time because it's the peace I seek. Fuck peace because I want to hug my parents and my grandmother while the darkness doesn't completely dominate me in the light that still shines in the shadow of darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The son becomes a father and the father becomes an angel the cycle of life<\/a> happening again like a river whose waters are always renewing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The enemy and the closest of friends beautiful confusion I want to pass away from the shadow with a look at the horizon and feel that I have a place. The most beautiful mine the sweetest poison that snake can offer because it's in the storm where everyone gets wet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

fuck your opinion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You criticize, speak badly but don't propose an improvement or when you also do the same, so why should I listen to you? What is it to be a bad person? Am I a bad person? Frustration for the happiness of others is the criticism, so how do I get out of this place?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel the pain the wounds are scars, one day I will look back and I will remember, maybe you don't remember what you said but I remember what you said. words are like a ton torpedoes that drop and trap you in a chain of thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Judge me by my message my content and my thoughts don't judge me by my Portuguese or for not knowing what I feel in the message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fault<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At the door always looking at me and pushing towards the darkness I try to escape but I can't she always manages to find me. I don't know when it started I know I'm followed around everywhere coming back and blaming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It's not my fault, a system error, a matrix failure I try again so sorry for existing. I try one more time I can't get there, everything only happens once, so what's the blame again?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An unbearable weight, a reason that there is no constant, omnipresent guilt that disappears when it wants to and reappears at the worst times. So time passes and she remains present and tormenting, leaving no choice in saying fuck the guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pressure<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The whole world looks on, rooting for failure and defeat, I keep pressed, I keep thinking about a day of peace, but tomorrow will probably be another day the same. Every grudge and every sin comes as the best of adversaries, winding up fury and awakening deep evils.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, all this pressure only feels those who have the mark of those who come from the same school who know the meanings, which mean peace for some and death for others. Media standards tell absurd lies to ordinary people selling something that not everyone can have because not everyone is the same because that's where many die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want us to be super human in our professional and personal lives, but to be good at one you have to sacrifice the other. In life they want you to have your head all the time even if you don't have one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looks are the worst thing there is they charge like a collector charging an accurate debt like a sniper. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

fuck the people<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There are 7 billion people in the world, too many people weighing on the earth, yet each one is a living weight living a life that is worthless. With so many people in the world, there's no chance for everyone to be someone special and 10% is for really special people, what's left is leftover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nobody cares about anybody, one gang wants to destroy the other in a complete chaos. It will all end in tears and pain People hurt people afraid of being hurt in a self-centered world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look the secret ingredient<\/a> in people but I don't think I ask does everyone have a problem or is it me? Sometimes I think I was born with a factory defect with an inability to socialize with people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I've been responsible 25 years and nothing has changed everyone just does what I allow so how can I make them stop? The crowd is a powerful weapon to push anyone into the dark and gloomy abyss where the mad are lost and the fake are said to be heroes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The crowd always comes in a hurry I don't know how to stop them, I don't know what to do, I still don't know who I am in this world. If I can't find myself, the only thing to do is jump into the abyss or look for the presence of solitude.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In this text I talk a little about my current moment in life about how I feel about pressure, guilt and judgment from people.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3791,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"googlesitekit_rrm_CAowhPjFCw:productID":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"federated","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Ol\u00e1, Pessoas tudo bem? Escrevi mais um texto que era pra ter sa\u00eddo ontem. E um texto um pouco pessoal que fala sobre meu momento de vida atual e meus sentimentos. ","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1931],"tags":[1049,1102,1103],"class_list":["post-3742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-textos-literarios-e-existenciais","tag-opniao","tag-pensamentos","tag-sentimentos"],"yoast_head":"\nFoda-se tudo isso - Felipe Mateus @felipemateus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Foda-se tudo isso ; Esse texto fala sobre as minhas frusta\u00e7\u00f5es e meu momento atual da vida fala sobre a press\u00e3o, culpa e etc.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mundoazul.blog\/2021\/11\/fodase-tudo-isso\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Foda-se tudo isso - Felipe Mateus @felipemateus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Foda-se tudo isso ; 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